Better Late Than Never

• Jon:You were supposed to come round, weren’t you? You just didn’t bother.
• Russell:I did! –
• Jon:Oh, got other stuff to do, mate!
• Russell:I didn’t, I had a gig to do!
• Jon:I know, it’s fine. I’m roasting off a chicken this week. You should come round, Richard. I’m roasting off a chicken.
• Richard:That sounds good. But you know, I don’t want to get – there seems to be some tension in the air between you two, I don’t want to find that I’m stepping into something. There’s just the three of us round the table, you two glaring at each other.
• Jon:It will just be the three of us. It’s only a one bedroomed flat, it’s not massive, so I can’t have more than two guests at a time.
• Richard:[Laughs] Okay…
• Russell:There is a lot of sexual tension between me and Jon and we don’t know why. I’m sure it’ll…
• Richard:Well, maybe because you want to have sex with each other. [Russell and Jon burst out laughing] That would probably be it!
• Russell:Well, once…
• Richard:Maybe you should do that. What was…has it happened?
• Russell:No, no… there was, you know…
• [Very awkward pause for a few moments. Lots of embarrassed laughter.]
• Jon:What were you going to say then? There was what??!
• Russell:No, no, no! I wasn’t going to say…you know what I was going to say, but we can’t mention that!
• [Uncomfortable moment’s pause]
• Jon:[Shrill] Oh, now this sounds terrible! Well, we’ll chat about this off air but I’m fairly sure there isn’t anything…
• [Awkward moment]
• Russell & Jon:So… [Indistinguishable ‘manly’ roaring from all three men]
• Russell:Who’s got tattoos, eh?! Girls, eh?! ‘WAYHAY!!’
• [Awkward moment, laughing]
• Jon:[Moving topic swiftly on, addressing Richard] You had a fight, didn’t you??

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